Bisexuality is more of being

Bisexuality is more of being attracted to the soul of a person, rather than having gender play a part of it.

6 months

Six months today is the first day that I decided to stop cutting and actually have successfully managed it :) I got the biggest hug from my best friend and the girl who has been through all of it with me. She is so incredible. And my boyfriend is super proud and I think I get to see him this weekend :)

I never attempted, but a

I never attempted, but a year ago today was the day I had actually planned to kill myself.

In-the-blue moments

I think the thing I hate most about recovery is the down, in-the-blue moments, that leave me feeling like an empty shell and not being able to do anything to feel better. Or at least, not knowing what to do. The thing I've found useful as of late is to run freezing cold water over my wrist-which is where I normally want to cut-until my wrist goes numb. But that only works if I want to cut or burn. If I'm just feeling empty, I don't know how to help that. I try to distract myself, try to feel alive somehow...

"If you're strong enough to

"If you're strong enough to look death in the eye, you're strong enough to fight him." -Ellen Hopkins

So many of my scars

So many of my scars have faded away and it scares me to not have visible reminders. It makes me want to make more...

Why do you cut?

I was on a forum today and someone had asked this question. I feel like this was something I could put up here.

"I cut to focus when my brain is racing, I cut to make physical what I feel inside, I cut to see blood because I like it. I don't like to cut, but I can't give it up."

Ellen Hopkins said it right. That is why I cut.

My friends & enemies.

My story

I started cutting on August 21, 2008. It was the first day of school and I cut because for the first time in my life, I had the knowledge that someone absolutely and truly hated me. Little did I know, that was when I would later come to hate myself. I'm now a senior in high school and have been clean for nearly six months. My last cut was July 24, 2011. I've been cutting for four years. I took to burning last year, but stopped shortly after. With the help and strength of my friends I know I can make this journey. And even if I fail this one, I know that I have made it this far before, which means I can make it this far again. I have the strongest support group I could ever ask for.

The ticker above tells how long it has been since my last cut.